Gratitude 

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me! 🙌🏾 Lol!

As you’ve probably guessed today is my birthday. Not just ANY birthday but it’s the big 5-0, half a century, the new forty, my golden jubilee… And I feel so so SO happy! I’m sat here on my bed, thinking “I’m so grateful to God that I’ve made it to this landmark age”. Despite the fact that I was married for 26 years, have three grown up children, a daughter in law in waiting and two grandchildren I only now feel like I’ve ‘grown up’ and it feels good.

My life, probably like yours, has been a mixture of highs and lows, with the last five years being the most challenging of my life so far. If you know you know. However, for every challenge that I have faced in life, I can confidently state that God has proven himself to be my ultimate protector, provider, confidante, friend, healer, counsellor and he has always provided me with an unexplainable peace in the midst of it all. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some bad days when I didn’t really cope very well – went to work casually dressed, no make up, lol! You know it’s bad when that happens right?! Lol! Joking aside, I’ve had times of feeling so low that I really did believe that the world may be better off without me…. Woah, just reflecting on that I realise that I’ve been in very dark places. However, that was a very long time ago now and it feels so strange to even acknowledge that that is where I’ve been at my lowest because I feel SO different now, years on. I can genuinely smile from the inside out even in the face of life’s current challenges. How so, you ask, especially if you know my journey (that’s for another blog). Answer: Well it’s my faith in the Almighty God that has been my saving grace and because of Him; His faithfulness and His love – I smile, even though I hurt see I smile, I know God is working so I smile, Even though I’ve been here for a while, I smile, smile…

Last week I had a ’50 & fabulous’ photoshoot and I got the pics back a few days ago. Imagine though, I had to talk to myself hard because the first thing that I did was pick a fault with myself and make a negative statement… It’s not often that I do that but some bad habits take a while to disappear completely. When you’re looking at full body shots from every angle and all you’re used to doing is head shots everyday (lol!) it can be a bit shocking to say the least… BUT I quickly rewrote the narrative in my head and told myself that “THIS IS YOU Dawnie!” And despite what changes I may wish I had made before the pics were taken, regardless of what others think of me (like me, dislike me, love me or hate me) and irrespective of anything negative, I love me, all of me and I make no apologies. It may have taken 50 years to get here but it’s been fantastic… Even the negative experiences have taught me lessons and for that I am grateful 🙏🏾

So today I say THANK YOU

To God – for being my ‘all in all’, for loving me, keeping me alive and in good health

To my parents – for looking after me, loving me, nurturing me, teaching me. I don’t know how much longer I will have you around but I cherish every moment that I spend with you.

To my family (immediate and extended) – family love is something else! No words can adequately describe the levels of love that I’ve been shown by my family over the years.

To my children – having you three has been my greatest achievement in life to date and you all make me proud. Thank you for lovin’ on your mama especially these last few years.

To my friends – The bible says that a friend loves at all times and I know that to be true. I have lived long enough to be able to sift out the real ones and also to have met some new ones who have become incredibly important to me. You know who you are!

This is the first of series of blogs that I will be posting with a view to share my life experiences (good and bad) so as to inspire, encourage and motivate anyone who resonates with me and what I have to share. 

 

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